People often are in need of sharing their personal details with others.
It’s not completely bad. We often may need to express our feelings, emotions, and experiences with others in order to maintain successful interpersonal relationships and interactions with others in both personal as well as professional lives.
But sometimes, we feel we have overexpressed ourselves to others that ultimately put us in a more awkward position.
We often try to over-explain ourselves to connect deeper with other persons and to make other people like me despite our personal feelings.
For example, we feel an obligation to say yes for any invitation we receive. Sometimes we may very glad to say yes, but sometimes we may say yes even though we prefer to do something else.
It’s becoming harder when the things we prefer to do is less important. In some cases, we may come up with some silly excuses to not to accept that invitation.
So why do people feel the need to over-explaining and justifying themselves to others? Here are some reasons why
Stop being judged.
People often worry about what other people think of themselves. They have a natural feeling/ need to be accepted, not rejected. So people often people come up with bold explanations to avoid the fear of listeners may judge them.
To avoid conflicts.
Conflict s scary, and it is very uncomfortable. So explaining yourself and justifying yourself may seem appropriate to avoid these uncomfortable situations. Especially when it comes to a red hot work environment, this happens a lot.
To ease our own feel of guilt.
If we had done something that others may not like, its normal to develop a feeling of guilt within ourselves. So to ease our guilt, we try to over explain that we had a pretty good reason to take that decision. Many people put ahead the needs and wants of other people ahead of their own needs and wants. People believe that denying a request from others or saying no is bad. Instead, they try to explain it in a friendly or calm manner to avoid hurting others feelings.
To foster more open connection with others.
Maintaining relationships are actually what people do in a society. So to build more strong relationships, people try to say lot of things.
Why we need to stop explaining everything
It reduces the value of words.
Providing listener with lots of facts may cause the listener to lose focus. Your message will most likely not transferred correctly in these situations. Keeping things simple will provide you better benefits.
We may feel less confident.
Sometimes we feel silly or guilty if we over explain ourselves, and we will reduce our confidence over time.
How to stop
We need to practice
This will take some time. You need to practice not to overshare of over justify yourself. You may not be successful in your first few attempts. But over time, you will definitely build up your confidence.
Try to keep it simple.
Try to be simple. Straightforward. This will save you lots of time and avoid lots of conflicts. Descriptive explanations are not always necessary.
Be Comfortable with Silence
Silence is good. Try to keep your mouth shut over unnecessary things.